Hello MTV. Long time no see..and....well...there is a reason for that. Maybe it's time we sat down and had a little heart to heart. I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I hate you right now. I am having some issues with your programming. Your horrible, awful, gut wrenching, programming.Okay. Reality T.V. is just fine; in small doses. But it's kind of like Ipikak. The more you are forced to ingest the more you projectile vomit everywhere.
1. Jersey Shore: Yea I'm just gonna come right out and say it; these people are utter idiots. Snookie? The Situation? Thank god I haven't gone any further than random video clips on the net and small two or three minute doses when I'm flipping through the channels. IDIOTS. Even the clothing brand they are wearing most of the time knows this and has asked them to stop wearing it! HELLO! RED-FLAG ANYONE? Class? Nope. Yes I get it; it's hilarious to watch a drunk girl fall down and show her panties, a couple of steroid freak-shows get into a fist fight, or listen to the way these idiots talk. But you can only see so much stupid before it really sinks in there.
2. Teen Moms? Siggggghhh, I don't even know where to start with this. I am kind of at a loss of why I should even have to address this at all MTV. I think you may have forgotten about this but your abbrev. means Music Television? It's not P.T.I (pregnant teen idiots) or FITGWNABSAAC. ( Fucking Idiot Teen Girls Who Need A Bitch Slapping And A condom.) Seriously who thought it was a good idea to take this terrible social trend; and obvious hole in the parenting of US society; and slap it all over T.V.? No no...its all good, just in case someone somewhere didn't realize it was awesome to have a baby when your 15 and a sure fire way to stardom! Don't know, now you know.
4. Punk'd was funny when it started MTV. Ashton Kutcher wasn't awful to look at, and some of the pranks were funny too but then it went off the air...why? It got old. Now your bringing it back with Justin Beiber? Really Beiber? The androgynous boy wonder? And he is pranking Taylor Swift? I like Taylor Swift. Great voice and a pretty girl but these are bubble gum teenagers. What is he going to do here MTV? You figured out some new stuff or is it just going to be a lot of Beiber face time talking a bunch of bull; while he switches her curling iron with a hair straightener? Will we watch in awe as he hacks her zwinkey account and puts a funny little anecdote on there(Hacked by the BEIBS!!!) ? Or is he going to switch Taylor's cherry lip gloss with strawberry? W.T.F MTV? Who okayed this? I just need to know so I can beat someone to death with a poster of Justin Fucking Beiber. This won't be funny. He is twelve...most of the funny shit from the first punk'd; there are probably child endangerment laws against. You either need to boot the beiber or turn him into a bad ass. Training day style MTV. Lets get some guns and run the streets with Beiber. X D This post has gotten away from me here, but can you imagine Justin Beiber running past a Brooklyn coffee shop storefront screaming, covered in teardrop tats, while gangs with guns and teenage girls chase after him....ahhhhhh that's a show. Now Pay Me.
All in all MTV, you need to get back to what you used to be good at; MUSIC. Go back to your roots. You have like seventy-five different channels now; and none of them play anything good. Go bare-bones people. Get back to music videos only interrupted with Beavis and Butthead and commercials for girls gone wild. We'll be waiting.
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