Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Top Ten Hottest SheNerds

When I lay my head down at night and begin to fall asleep I dream of several things on the regular. Halo, Ronan Dex giving me a massage, and hot ass SheNerds. So I have put together a list of the top ten nerds that haunt me in the very best ways at night.


Number ten is the ever sexy Felicia Day. The red hair, freckles, sometimes nervous and always geeky persona is something that makes me wish I could use her body as my own personal controller. Where you would know her from: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Dollhouse, The Guild, etc..





Number Nine is Amanda Tapping, the Queen of the Scyfy Channel. Sometimes she looks like your mom's hot friend who gets you wasted on tequila for the first time while others she looks like the smoking hot vixen who just popped a cap in some wraith ass. Where you know her from? SG1 (as well as appearences on Stargate Atlantis), Sanctuary, etc. Everytime I fantasize about Amanda Tapping she is a brunette dressed in leather who has every intension on taking complete advantage of MY stargate : )





Number Eight is going to be Morgan Webb the Goddess of Gaming. Not only is she smmmmoking hot ( I mean Dammmmmmn) but she could give me a run for my money at halo and that ladies and gentlemen...is a turn on. Smart, sexy, and a gamer? Marry me? Where you know her: X-Play on G4 T.V.


Number Seven is Jewell Staite. She looks like your best friends slightly older sister. However not only can she make a firefly class ship run while using her uber adorable hick accent, but she can also patch you up if you get fed on by a wraith. She is sexy in the way only few have mastered: The adorable undercover sexpot. Where you know her from: Firefly (Serenity movie as well), Stargate Atlantis, as well as appearences on other shows such as X-Files.


Number Six is Jolene Blalock. I first recognized her sexy vulcan body in Star Trek Enterprise. See people: Watching Star Trek pays off in the long run. I like her soooo much better with long hair, but the short suits her personality on the enterprise. Where you know her from: Star Trek Enterprise, Starship Troopers, and Jason and the Argonauts. All in all not only can Jolene Blalock take you down with a Vulcan Nerve Pinch but her body is killer too.



Number Five is Hannah Spearritt. Petite, platinum blonde with a delicious body, and she can save you from a primeval creature? Yum. As if that wasn't enough to throw into the bubbling pot of Sexy SheNerd but she has a british accent. She hasn't been in a whole lot but you may know her from Primeval, Seed of Chucky, or Secret Agent Cody Banks 2. She is punky , british, and nerdy. I love this girl.


Number Four is Elyse Levesque. This girl looks like the type of girl who would have snubbed you in front of your friends in high school then secretly hooked up with you at a party. She is haughty and looks like an ice queem, yet a SheNerd at heart. A challenge for the conquering. Where you may know her from: Stargate Universe, Journey to the Center of the Earth, and Smallville.



Number Three is Clare Grant. Seth Green...you are lucky Motherfucker. Not only is Clare Green a hardcore gamer(Look her up on Youtube as Team unicorn), but she is soo smoking hot! A sense of humor carries over in Robot Chicken and Team Unicorn videos as actual talent as an actress.  Where you may know her from: Robot Chicken, Team Unicorn, or even walk the line. So clare and Seth, if your ever thinking of having a threesome...




Number Two is Grace Park. *Sigh* I really don't know what else I can say about Grace Park other than. *Sigh* She is so sexy. She has a sense of humor (She is the voice of Akiko in American Dad).  She has played in most of the television series I have fallen in love with over time. You may know her from Bsg, Stargate SG1, The Outer Limits, Andromeda, CSI, and even Hawaii Five-O. Put your hands together for the epic and stunning Grace Park



We have finally arrived at Number One on the top ten sexiest SheNerds around and thus far I hope you have had to change your pants, lock your door for a little 'you' time, or at least bookmarked this entry to wank off to later. Now we find our number one.

SUMMER GLAU

She is sexy, composed, badass, and amazing. I don't think there is another woman alive who could match her. I love this girl and I my goal in life is to marry her and together we can have the first lesbian pregnancy. Here are a list of her roles over the years.

Lucy
 
2011 Alphas (TV series)
Skylar Adams
 
 
2011 The Cape (TV series)
Orwell
 
2010 Chuck (TV series)
Greta
 
Kara (voice) / Supergirl (voice)
 
2010 Deadly Honeymoon (TV movie)
 
2009-2010 Dollhouse (TV series)
Bennett Halverson
 
Cameron Phillips / Allison Young
 
2009 The Big Bang Theory (TV series)
Summer Glau
 
2005-2007 The 4400 (TV series)
Tess Doerner
2006-2007 The Unit (TV series)
Crystal Burns
 
2006 The Initiation of Sarah (TV movie)
Lindsey Goodwin
2006 Mammoth (TV movie)
Jack Abernathy
2005 Serenity
 
Mandy Cooper
2004 Sleepover
Ticket Girl
2003 Cold Case (TV series)
Paige Pratt
 
2002-2003 Firefly (TV series)
River Tam
2002 Angel (TV series)
Prima Ballerina
 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Best Kind Of Childhood

I can still remember buying that Super Nintendo at the mall when it first came out. My dad and I bailed on my brother and mom who were getting their hair cut and caught a taxi home. We set that thing up, and by the time the rest of the family got home we were knee deep in koopa ass. I played a lot of atari and the very first nintendo system but the SUPER Nintendo was an orgasm I kept on chasing. It's a memory I will never forget. I suppose my family was composed of Gamers from day one. We would sit down and play some Super Ghouls and Ghosts (Still the hardest game I've ever played) or some Tetris and spend time together. Then the Sega Genesis, Dreamcast, playstation...we spent vacation money, chore money, any money we could scrape together for another game and by the time it was all said and done...we had a library rivaling the E.B in the mall. I started out gaming. I can't really remember a time in my life when I wasn't obsessed.  Everything Tech came next...advances in the devices we used changed our lives and we scooped up all we could.  Our first computer was a DINOSAUR of a thing and we learned every function, Slaved over high scores, and memorized every program or file mod we could...and this is how I bet most Girl Gamers and Girl Techies start off. 
Now that I have no family and I'm an adult I look back on those days as my fondest. I loved being a competitive tech and game obsessed family. We spent thousands if not millions and trillions of hours in battle against each other when the N64 came out! Quality time and it was well spent. I also grew up on Star Wars, Star Trek, and Adult Swim...things I still love to this day. I know that nowadays games have turned into something parents frown upon. Too much blood, sex, and guts...but I ripped spines out of people via Sub-Zero and MK when I was no older than ten or so and thus far I haven't ripped out an actual spine due to that fact. So far...so good.  It was definently the best kind of childhood...a family brought together by endless hours of Tetris, Super Mario, Super Smash Bros, and Mario Cart. Now that I have nieces about the gaming age I had plans to mold them into excellent gamers but they already beat me to it. There is nothing like walking into your childhood home again and seeing two youngin's parked in front of the t.v. with wii controllers in their hands. : ) Ahhhhh, life is grand.





Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Gifts for the geeks in your life.

Greetings geeks and gamers! Xmas is only three months or so away, and if your looking for great gifts for the geeks in your life pleasssse forgo horrible ps2 games and mario pez dispensers. There are plenty of great websites out there for your nerd, geek, and general gamers!

If you like really great prices for original and unique gifts you should check out plasticland. Everything from ice cube trays shaped like guns, robots, or teeth to home decor that is great quality and rare.

If you have a tech afficiandao living amongst you; you have got to check out Think Geek. It is a website I have been using for years now to buy things for my friends and myself. If you sign up they also give you points for each purchase and believe me you want those points!

If you have anyone who loves a hilarious T, regardless of gamers, nerd, geek, or techy these websites have everything you need for a tickled pink giftee


So there are plenty of ideas! If you feel inclined to pick up some pex dispensers or posters or some stuffed keychain of toad in a go cart I will be super pissed. Your gamer, geek, nerd, or techy will thank you for your gift...but deep inside they are wishing you would've hit one of these websites.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Fan Art

I love strolling through the poppy covered fields that is the internet and tripping over piles of gold mine for the keeping that is Fan Art.  I'm obviously not stumbling upon said gold just now~ I do get a game informer every month and I do troll the web for hours on end when I should be doing homework or filling a customers coffee cup. Old men will just have to wait for their stay-up fuel (I do work at a truck stop restaurant) because the explosion of Fan Art is keeping me on my toes. There are all kinds, Japanese-Chinese inspired of Mario being a ninja, the actual TMNT gang, and much much more. If I could draw a straight line I would make epic fan art, like Whil Wheaton and Felicia Day's Guild Painting. Which I still need to buy a print of to hang over my fireplace...and then I should probably purchase a fireplace.  I hate some F/A, it just goes to weird ass places. Like one of Potter and Malfoy that Connan gave to Tom Felton on his show. It just makes you shudder...and it also makes you wonder if this is what these people pleasure themselves too. Which in turn makes me vomit in my mouth because I'm wondering that and of course that leads to me being pissed because people are inducing vomiting. Stupidity is like Ipikak. I have attached a link to a site that has splendiferous F/A. Not Ipikak F/A thankkkk you website folks for not making me stumble upon fan art of Mario giving Luigi the courtesy of a reach around while he's hitting the back door. THANK YOU!




It's terrifying and also gives me a hankering for PIZZA DUDE!





The link I gave you is to another Blogspot User named David Rapoza, who is actually selling prints of these for a really great price. And you know that if there was anything in the world that you needed it was a gigantic print of a hot ass zombie chick with her nips hanging out. One long drawn out word Dave Rapoza: Sweeeeeeeeet

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The age old question?

There has been a lot of hub-bub about the color of Mass Effect three's Female Shepperd's hair color. The first box art was a blonde, a smoking hot blonde, but after an outrageous uproar over how "misogynistic" it was...she has been officially changed to a redhead. I am a brunette people but blondes have it bad enough I think it's time we lay the hair color thing to rest.  Here are just a few of the Female leads I remembered off the top of my head from video games:

 Faith from Mirror's Edge.


Chun-Li from streetfighter 2


Laura Croft from Tomb raider

Ella from uncharted 2

Hildeguard Von Krone

Alyx from Half Life 2

Jill Valentine from Resident Evil

Princess Zelda from Zelda



Notice anything?
Yes, it seems one out of these many influential and notable female video game characters is blonde. And they didn't even make her a sexy blonde. She was awesome no doubt but not bad-ass or over sexualized. It seems blondes are having more fun but us dark haired girls are kicking way more ass. Besides the occasionally off shade of blonde from Final Fantasy Girls, Princess Peach, or some Dead or Alive girls there aren't any blonde bad-ass bitches. Come on people...let the cover art for ME3 be a blondie. We dark haired girls are indeed bad-ass...but we seem to really be hogging the Video game spotlight.

Bioshock 3

Bioshock has been a favored game of mine since it's first release in 2007. There is just something about a genetically enhanced human grafted to an armored diving suit protecting a little girl who can suck the power out of someone, that really tugs on my heart strings. I really do love it when big burly people, machines, or animals take care of smaller craetures. Like when you see a big muscular badass biker and he has his daughter by the hand, she's wearing all pink and he's holding like eight stuffed animals he just won her by way of a carnival. I LOVE IT! It's so cute!  So the big daddy's have always been amazing to me. I loved the gameplay, although the underwater scenery got a bit tiresome, I still loved the game. When Bioschock two came out in 2010 I think, I absolutly loved  being the Big Daddy. I hated that we were still underwater though, but I loved the rest of the game. Bioshock two is when we were introduced to Big Sisters and properly introduced to "The Rapture Family". Imagine the Brady Bunch or the Patridge Family genetically altered and tripping on acid. Not to mention the interesting multiplayer which I am a sucker for and the availability of the add-ons and DLC's that came out later. Now, we finally get to see more of Bioshock 3 or Bioshock Infinite. FINALLY! We are out of the underwater cities and the air around the floating city of Columbia is breath-taking. It's 1912,  and theocratic governement has taken control. Factions of citizens are fighting and you jump right into the middle while trying to save a girl named Elizabeth who is at the middle of the civil war.
All in all, I know this game doesn't come out until 2012, but I really can't wait. I haven't seen any Big Daddy's but a diving suit above water would be pushing it. Although they are saying it's an anti-septic enviornment that's been transformed intot he scariest fucking place anyone's ever seen. Which fills me with hope, terrifying nightmare fueling hope.

The REAL Adam Jensen?

In Deus Ex: The Human Revolution; you play a man named Adam Jensen who has "tech" upgrades to make you bionic in different ways. I was looking around Google earlier, enjoying the forums on the Google + topic when I came upon a very awesome report about a man they are calling an "Eyeborg". This guy lost his eye in a shooting accident when he was younger and has recently implanted a video camera eye into his socket. It didn't restore his sight but all of the footage is put into a real time computer feed and he can log everything he sees. I would hate to be this guys girlfriend because you would never have the "I never said that!" argument again. He has the logs to back his point up. On a more random note I would make him take out his eye when we went to the bedroom. It would be like a first person sex tape to the extreme. And go figure the makers of Deus Ex: THR have commissioned this guy to make a documentary about how far away their game-world really is from the world now and his amazing tech eye. It's not looking too far off to me now. This is amazing! I want to meet him just so I can say "Leitunent LaForge report to engineering!" All in all, this guy is awesome; jokes aside this is a huge tech breakthrough. Knowing we can stick a camera into a tech eye and in turn stick that into your sockets?? It's paving the way to Star Trek. Where are you Whil Wheaton? I hope you've heard about this because we all miss Levarr Burton so we are sure you must as well.
Here is the REAL Adam Jensen BEFORE all of his tech upgrades.

Compare with laForge

Sweeeeet......

Google +

Google +
Hmmmm...ya know, I don't say this much  but I am on the fence with this. Google is for all intents, and purposes, trying their hand at a Facebook. They have tried this before with Google "Passport" but it went as far as throwing an uncrumpled piece of paper across the room would...not far in case you didn't catch that. I don't see any harm in it because this craze with self-absorption isn't really a craze at all but more of an urge for importance, attention...etc. It's really psychological if you wanna get into it (Can you tell I had psych homework?). People need to feel important, not only to themselves but to others. Facebook, MySpace...yea I'm sure there are more out there. I am practicing self absorption right now. I am typing away my opinions like they really matter to anyone but me. That's a human trait. If Google wants to get into it then by all means go for it. More revenue, not a  bad thing for Google. Better personalized search results by way of your Google + likes and dislikes, more specialized ads that make you wanna click and buy everything flashing on your screen while your trying to read you damn e-mail. The interesting thing here is that they will be making you use your own name. No screen-names or anything. Your own name, nothing to hide behind. I like it because it's going to cut down on some of the fucked up shit that goes on, on the internet these days while people cower behind the screens under a false name rubbing their hands together in a very sinister Mr. Burns kind of way. But it will also help to track you. That's not a conspiracy theory people it's the truth. There is a +1 button that you can use to basically "like" a site and it can spread your across the entire web that way. Your name plastered along side the websites you go too? I get into some pretty messed up sites that I have to back-peddle out of from time to time in my pursuit of knowledge (Like Chunneling look it up). I wouldn't want that on there. Of course you would have to hit that +1 button first. Who is to say, however, that your idiot friends, or younger obnoxious brother or sister won't get on there and just fuck your day up. Your boss could see these things. Your co-workers, family, and friends may get a full frontal view of the weird shit you look up on the internet. So Google plus thumbs up or thumbs down? Truthfully...I will have to wait and see before I go sticking my thumb anywhere...and I will just have to make sure I don't hit that +1 button before I do as well.

Gamestop Flop

So Gamestop is in a bit of hot water at the moment, especially with the gamers. A memo leaked onto the internet; in which it asked employees to take out an Online code from the game Deus Ex: Human Revolution. A great game, seriously, with school I haven't had time to play it myself but I have been watching it being played in the background on my t.v. and I must say it is not only a beautiful game, but most of the acting is great, which is rare in games still. It's a game that allows you to make all decisions affecting just about everything with a very interactive environment. But anyways...back to the memo. The author of the memo refuses to comment and no further info has been leaked, but it's looking grim for Gamestop. A lot of us, myself included, pay extra for these kinds of codes and add-ons...and to know they are being stripped from us is infuriating. Albeit it was only sent out for PC versions sold...it's a betrayal to the customers.
In other news, bastion is making a huge splash with a cute little hidden nod to the fans of Valve (Who made Portal one and two giving me my all time favorite villain gLaDos.) Adding an item called "canister gel" which, when thrown, makes a very familiar portal that sucks in enemies nearby! I love me some Easter eggs and nods to developers!

What does MTV stand for again?

Hello MTV. Long time no see..and....well...there is a reason for that. Maybe it's time we sat down and had a little heart to heart. I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I hate you right now. I am having some issues with your programming. Your horrible, awful, gut wrenching, programming.Okay. Reality T.V. is just fine; in small doses. But it's kind of like Ipikak. The more you are forced to ingest the more you projectile vomit everywhere.
1.  Jersey Shore: Yea I'm just gonna come right out and say it; these people are utter idiots. Snookie? The Situation? Thank god I haven't gone any further than random video clips on the net and small two or three minute doses when I'm flipping through the channels. IDIOTS. Even the clothing brand they are wearing most of the time knows this and has asked them to stop wearing it! HELLO! RED-FLAG ANYONE? Class? Nope. Yes I get it; it's  hilarious to watch a drunk girl fall down and show her panties, a couple of steroid freak-shows get into a fist fight, or listen to the way these idiots talk. But you can only see so much stupid before it really sinks in there.
2.    Teen Moms? Siggggghhh, I don't even know where to start with this. I am kind of at a loss of why I should even have to address this at all MTV. I think you may have forgotten about this but your abbrev. means Music Television? It's not P.T.I (pregnant teen idiots) or FITGWNABSAAC. ( Fucking Idiot Teen Girls Who Need A Bitch Slapping And A condom.) Seriously who thought it was a good idea to take this terrible social trend; and obvious hole in the parenting of US society; and slap it all over T.V.? No no...its all good, just in case someone somewhere didn't realize it was awesome to have a baby when your 15 and a sure fire way to stardom! Don't know, now you know.
4.   Punk'd was funny when it started MTV. Ashton Kutcher wasn't awful to look at, and some of the pranks were funny too but then it went off the air...why? It got old. Now your bringing it back with Justin Beiber? Really Beiber? The androgynous boy wonder? And he is pranking Taylor Swift? I like Taylor Swift. Great voice and a pretty girl but these are bubble gum teenagers. What is he going to do here MTV? You figured out some new stuff or is it just going to be a lot of Beiber face time talking a bunch of bull; while he switches her curling iron with a hair straightener? Will we watch in awe as he hacks her zwinkey account and puts a funny little anecdote on there(Hacked by the BEIBS!!!) ? Or is he going to switch Taylor's cherry lip gloss with strawberry? W.T.F MTV? Who okayed this? I just need to know so I can beat someone to death with a poster of Justin Fucking Beiber. This won't be funny. He is twelve...most of the funny shit from the first punk'd; there are probably child endangerment laws against. You either need to boot the beiber or turn him into a bad ass. Training day style MTV. Lets get some guns and run the streets with Beiber. X D This post has gotten away from me here, but can you imagine Justin Beiber running past a Brooklyn coffee shop storefront screaming, covered in teardrop tats, while gangs with guns and teenage girls chase after him....ahhhhhh that's a show. Now Pay Me.


All in all MTV, you need to get back to what you used to be good at; MUSIC. Go back to your roots. You have like seventy-five different channels now; and none of them play anything good. Go bare-bones people. Get back to music videos only interrupted with Beavis and Butthead and commercials for girls gone wild. We'll be waiting.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

The Dinosaur

I have already admitted my achievement hunting "disease". I am obsessed with getting gamer-score. The little tab pops up, and a sense of achievement indeed washes over me. This is only a recent disease, but now I have started going back over my old games and going "Achievement Hunting". What really makes me sad is the lack of achievements in the original Xbox games.
The hours and hours I spent hunched over my controller with red bull or Mt. Dew getting a 100% on every  game. All of these games...my Gamerscore could have been amazing! And even though my own sense of achievement over a perfect score on each game is satisfying, the achievement pop-up makes it that much sweeter. I mean Elder scrolls oblivion...Gamerscore on that???  Of course, these games with no achievements, are ones that I played over and over for hours and hours. Something I hate even more are the games that make you play through them three or four or even five times...and their playability isn't worth that much time. I wish they would either start releasing more games with better multiple playthroughs or would somehow add achievements to a dying breed of games. Yes they are a dying breed...but we still love them.

The best thing I've seen in a hot par-sec


I am in love with Seth Green, despite the fact that he is a tiny little man. But I swear to gods if I ever see him I WILL rape him. This song is so bad-ass, even though the vocals are a little ify, the lyrics and video make me proud to be a geek/gamer. I am glad the explosion of all things nerd and geek have finally hit because I was getting sick of the weird looks when I would talk about Star Trek, BSG, or Robot Chicken. And of course, I want to shout out to all girl gamers everywhere who kick some major ass on any online multi-player! Time to show the boys what's up!

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman

I don't know about you guys; but cat woman set me into a hellion rebellion when I was little. I watched the batman cartoons and read my brothers comics, eventually getting my own, and then I became Selena Kyle. I pranced around my grandma's house dressed in tight black leggings and tank tops. I got cat ears from the Halloween stores and I mutilated my stuffed animals in search for the perfect tail. By perfect I of course mean one that had style and the functionability of whacking anyone who came too close to me without it coming un-pinned and stabbing me in the ass.I loved Cat-woman and I loved Selena Kyle. She was versatile, sexy, had a bad-ass love/hate relationship with batman (I am the night!") and had some of the best one liners around. I am in no way joking when I tell you, that I used to climb all over my grandma's house, humming my own theme music as I chased the shadows and caught the purrrfect prey (Sorry about that purrr thing it was a throw back to the old comics and cartoons...it won't happen again...) I would hiss at anyone who came within a two foot radius of me and at one point I even went so far as to convince my grandma to let me get a cat or twelve. Even though she had the patience of a saint (Eight kids and a billion grand kids will do that to a lady) I was allergic to cats. Swell up like the penguin and die allergic. So obviously when I hear that a new bat-man flick is coming out I am so pumped I am tempted to pull out some leggings and tank tops and scuttle around the neighborhood with a whip! And the fact that Anne Hathaway is going to be playing her is so much better! I loved most of the other "Selena Kyles" being such an interesting character it would be really hard to fuck it up. But Anne Hathaway has that sweet, innocent, albeit driven attitude in real life and I just know she will bring that across on screen. Because before her "accident" that's all Selena was...a sweet, shy and determined woman. It doesn't hurt that Anne Hathaway is hotter than Splosion Man sexin up the misses on the sun. I loved her in Alice in Wonderland (She rocked those eyebrows!) and I am equally as pumped to see what she brings to the Cat Woman. And whew, the thought of her wriggling into a tiny leather outfit doesn't hurt a damn bit. She recently went on Chelsea Lately and talked about the costume. Click the link to check it out.Hathaway-Lately interview